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More than just friends

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As I lay in bed watching him sleep so peacefully, I have him.
That is the only time I can have him to myself, I'm selfish.
My hands train down and across his face and he does not cringe.
I hate reading signs because they lie. 

I want to read his heart, open it up or maybe his mind to hear what he thinks but it doesn't work like that.
I love someone who is in deep sleep falling for his dreams.
I love someone who is here but not with me,( here and barely free). 

I gave my life/love to someone who doesn't know I exist and I don't blame him 'cause its all on me.
He makes me happy when I see him do things. 
I stare at him all day maybe to take in the memories. 
I know I'll have to leave and all these will remain a dream but even when I'm gone it will be the dream I've lived.
His picture perfect form imprinted on my brain.
His words in my veins, his voice always in my head.
I know I gonna miss this, miss the way he laughs. 
Miss how we talk endlessly into the night. 
Miss my hands going up and down his chest…. I know I'm gonna miss the love I never had.

I know that I will miss all the days I used to wait, miss all of the dates I wished we could have gone.
Even though I always will be in love with him, I know I'm gonna miss wishing we were more than friends.

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